haste haste lot pot

Ye padh ne ke liya haath me rumal rakhlo!                                                -Doctor:"Ab tabiyat kaisi hay?"      -Mariz:"Pahele se jiyada kharab hay"        Dr:-"Dawai khali thi kya?"      Mz:-"Nai dawa ki shishi to bhari hui thi"    Dr:-"Mera kahena hay,dawai leli thi?"   Mz:-"Ji aapne di thi to maine leli thi"    Dr:-"Bewakuf, dawai pili thi?"      Mz:-"Naiji,dawai to lal thi"  Dr:-"Abe gadhdhe,dawai ko peeliya tha?"   Mz:-"Nai sab,piliya to muze tha"    Dr:-"Are sale,dawa ko muh-se laga ke pet-me dala tha?"    Mz:-"Nai"     Dr:-"Kyu?"   Mz:-"Aapne hi kaha tha ke shishi ko dhakan laga ke rakhna..."

Read more...

about women

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.
Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
Anonymous

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want?
Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
Sigmund Freud

'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.'
Anonymous

'There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage.'
Sam Kinison

'I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't.'
James Holt McGavra

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.
Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once....
Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.
Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!'
Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.'
Anonymous

Read more...

fall in love

Read more...

The Difference Between Men And Women..?

1. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

2. Men wake up as good-looking as when they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

3. A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he wants. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't want.

4. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

5. There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman- before and after marriage.

6. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

7. To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him
a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

8. Any married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

9. A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

10. Women look at a wedding as the beginning of romance, while men look at a wedding as the ending of romance.

Read more...

Enjoy Your Life

Life is Best for those who want to Live it,
Life is Difficult for those who want to Analyze it,
Life is worst for those who want to Criticize it,
Our Attitude Defines Life...

Enjoy Your Life,
Laugh so Hard That even Sorrow Smiles at You,
Live Life so Well That even Death Loves to see you Alive,
Fight so Hard That even Fate accepts its Defeat...

Read more...

A to Z For Friend

A." all friends
B." best friend
C." close friend
D." dear friend
E." ever friend
F." familiar friend
G." good friend
H." helping friend
I." innocent friend
J." jovial friend
K." kind friend
L." lovely friend
M." merry friend
N." naughty friend
O." only frirnd
P." personal friend
Q." quiet friend
R." rare friend
S." special friend
T." thick friend
U." understanding friend
V." valuable friend
W." wonderful friend
X." xlent friend
Y." youth friend
Z. zeal friend..s !

Read more...

The Bathtub Test

During a visit to the mental hospital, I asked the Director 'How do you determine whether or not a patient should be admitted to the hospital.'

'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we give a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him to empty the bathtub.'

'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.'

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*

*


'No.' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the drain plug. Well....... Do you want a bed near the window?'

Read more...

WHEN NEED TO SAY I LOVE U

When U Were 15 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Blushed.. U Look Down And Smile...

When U Were 20 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Put Ur Head On My Shoulder And Hold My Hand Afraid That I Might Disappears..

When U Were 25 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Prepare Breakfast And Serve It In Front Of Me,
And Kiss My Forehead N Said :"U Better Be Quick, Is's Gonna Be Late.."

When U Were 30 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Said: "If U Really Love Me, Please Come Back Early After Work.."


When U Were 40 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Were Cleaning The Dining Table And Said: "Ok Dear,
But It's Time For
U To Help Our Child With His/Her Revision.."


When U Were 50 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U..
U Were Knitting And U Laugh At Me

When U Were 60 Yrs Old, I Said I Love U
U Smile At Me..


When U Were 70 Yrs Old. I Said I Love U
We Sitting On The Rocking Chair With Our Glasses On..

I'M Reading Your Love Letter That U Sent To Me 50 Yrs Ago..
With Our Hand Crossing Together..
When U Were 80 Yrs Old, U Said U Love Me!
I Didn't Say Anything But Cried
That Day Must Be The Happiest Day Of My Life!
Because U Said U Love Me !!!

Please Appreciate Your Loved Ones.. Say "I Love You"
To Them When U Have The Chance  !!!

Read more...

Driving

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand Out Of Window…
You Are in SYDNEY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Horn…
You Are in JAPAN …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Steering Wheel,
One Hand On Newspaper,
Foot Solidly On Accelerator…
You Are in BOSTON …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Both Hands On Steering Wheel,
Eyes Shut,
Both Feet On Brake,
Quivering In Terror
You Are in NEW YORK …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

Both Hands In Air,
Gesturing,
Both Feet On Accelerator,
Head Turned To Talk To Someone In Back Seat…
You Are in ITALY …

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* ********* ***

One Hand On Horn,
One Hand On Holding Gear,
One Ear Listening To Loud Music,
One Ear On Cell Phone,
One Foot On Accelerator,
One Foot On Clutch,
Nothing On Break,
Eyes On Females In Next Car,

WELCOME TO INDIA

Read more...

M.P. Sir

OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME ? CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL SIR OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME ? CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ? CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : IS IT MADHYA PRADESH ? CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION? CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT ? CANDIDATE : MATRIC PASS OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB ? CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : AND WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ? CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : EXPLAIN YOURSELF CLEARLY CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR OFFICER : THIS DISCUSSION IS NOWHERE, YOU MAY GO NOW CANDIDATE : M P. SIR OFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE. ...? OFFICER : MP !!! CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR..? OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED... ......... .....!!!! !!!!!!!!!

Read more...

puzzle

puzzle Can you Answer at least one of the following Question??? Try before scrolling down........

Q: An elephant has 5 bananas and it is hungry, but yet it does not eat the bananas. Why ?


.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
..

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.


Ans: Because the bananas are made of plastic.

Next.Question is ...........

The 5 bananas are real , but yet the elephant does not eat it. Why?

.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
.
Because the elephant is made of plastic.

Hahhaa. never give up.. one more..




Both the elephant and the bananas are real, but yet it cannot eat it.
.
.
.
.

.
.

Why ?

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

Because the bananas are in the TV.

Ooops!!! Cool down.



Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?


.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
,
,
,

,
,
,
,
,
.
..
.

.
.
.

Because they are on different channels.

Hohohohoohohoh. ..... hehehe




Both the elephant and the bananas are real and in the TV and on the same channel, but yet it cannot eat it. Why?
.
.
.
.
..

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.


.
..
.
.
.
Cmon think ..
.
.
.
..
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

.
..
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.

Because the TV is off.

Kikikikikiki


Now Finally the Elephant gets a chance to eat the bananas. Why?


.
.
.
..
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.

.
.
.


why the hell do u think so much...let that poor animal have some food....and you get back to your work.

he he he he......

Read more...

jock

Read more...

Patni calisa

Namo-Namo Patni Maharani.
Tumari Mahima koie najane. \\1\\

Hamane Samajatha Tum abala ho.
par tumsto sabase badi bala ho. \\2\\

Jisedin hathme Belan aae.
Us din Pati Bichara khub chillaye. \\3\\

sare bad par patni sove.
pati betha jamin par rove. \\4\\

Tumasehi ghar mathura-kashi.
or tumasehi ghar satyanashi. \\5\\

PATNI CHLISA JO NAR GAAVE.
SUB SUKH CHOD PARAM DUKH PAVE.....\\6\ \

--
 

Read more...

Believe in Love , Life and Yourself.

Read more...

masti

Indian Airline : We provide warm and motherlike comfort. Warm because AC is not working and mother like because most of the air hostesses are above 50 yrs. Sehwag's son : Are dekho maa. Papa sixer pe sixer mare ja rahe hain. Sehwag's wife : Beta ye ADVERTISEMENT hogi! Love Letters...just for laughs.... A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity gets the better of him and he goes up to the balding man and asks him what he's doing. "I'm sending out 1,000 Valentine's Day cards signed, 'Guess who?'" "But why?" asks the man. "I'm a divorce lawyer."

Read more...

mere sang has lo

Yaad hai pehle hum kaha mile the... Train ruki, khidki khuli, Nazaron se nazare mili, Aur aap ne kaha- Idli, Dosa, Vade, Sambhar, Chay... ******************************** Jab tumhe dekhu my dil starts flying, Tumse baat karne ko I keep trying, Jab tu dur jaaye I feel like crying, Are! Itna mat chad I was just lying. ******************************** Galat nazaron se dekhoge to har jagah kharabi lagegi, Aur sahi nazar se dekhoge to har sundar ladki Tumhe bhabhi lagegi-Tumhara bhai! ******************************** Aisa dostana hamara, main kashti tu kinara, Main dhanush tu teer, ,main matar tu paneer, Main varsha tu baadal, main raajma tu chawal, Main hot tu cool, main april tu fool. ******************************** Anhon ki aawaaz kuch hoti hai, Aansuon ki aag kuch aur hoti hai, Kaun chahata hai bichadna apno se Vo to vakt ki maar hoti hai. ********************************

---

Explore and discover exciting holidays and getaways with Yahoo! India Travel Click here!

Read more...

funny jocks

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR BLOOD GRUP IT'S URGENT. EK ACCIDENT HO GAYA HAI TUMHARA HI BLOOD CHAHIYE. PLEASE MANA MAT KARNA. WARNA KUTTA MAR JAYEGA...|| ..........................................       To Prove..,"You Are Not An IDIOT".. Take the test below : Press Down Press Up Look...!! , You cudnt even follow the Instructions.!! U IDIOT.! Really You Proved It. ..........................................   Last night some Monkeys came running to my room. They wanted to trouble good people... I suggested ur name. They said Oh!!!No we cant disturb our Boss... ..........................................

---

Bollywood news, movie reviews, film trailers and more! Click here.

Read more...

Ha Ha Ha.......:)

Boy To A New Girl In The College : Yeh Principal Ekdum Khadush Aadmi Hai.
Girl : Kya Tum Jante Ho, Main Kaun Hu?
Boy : No.
Girl : Main Principal Ki Beti Hu.
Boy : Kya Tum Janti Ho, Main Kaun Hu??
Girl : No.
Boy : Thank God.....

...........................................................

Ek Raat Ek Chor Santa Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Gaya Aur Bola,
"SONA Kahan Hai?"

Santa neend mein bola, "Ullu Ke Patthe !! Poora Ghar Khali
Pada Hai, Kahin Bhi So Ja."

...........................................................

Insurance Wale Bhi Kya Gazab Dhaate Hain....

Insurance Wale Bhi Kya Ghazab Dhaate Hain....


Logo Ki Bibiyo Ke Paas Baithke,
Pati Ke Marne Ke Faide Samjhate Hain !!!

.............................................................

Sir : Santa, Kal Tum School Kyon Nahi Aaye?
Santa : Sir ! Gir Gaya Tha Aur Lag Gayi Thi.
Sir : Kahan Gir Gaye They Aur Kahan Lag Gayi Thi?
Santa : Sir ! Palang Pe Gir Gaya Tha Aur Aankh Lag Gayi Thi.


........................................................................



Son: Dad, main kab itna Bada banuga, ki main mummy ko bina bataye hi ghar ke bahar ja saku.?

Dad: Puttar ! itna Bada to aaj tak main bhi nahi hua hu !!!


..................................................................................


Husband To whife:
Tum meri zindagi ho aur....
Wife: aur Kia?
Tell me aur Kia?
Wife shouted:
Tell me aur Kia?
Husband: aur Laanat hai aissi zindagi pa..!


...........................................................................

Read more...

This is indeed touching.... .....

    A certain rich businessman had a beautiful daughter,

    who fell in love


        with a guy who was a cleaner.When the girl's father
        came to know about their love,


            he did not  like it at all, and so began

            to protest about it.


                Now it happened that the two lovers decided to leave
                their homes for a happy future.


                    The girl's father started searching for

                    the two lovers but could not find them.


                    At last, he accepted their love and asked them to come
                    back home in a local newspaper.


                        Her father said "If you both comeback I will allow you   
                        to marry the guy you love, I accept that
                        you loved each other truly."


                                So in this way, their love won and they returned
                                home.The couple went to town to shop for the wedding dress.


                                    He was dressed in white shirt that day.
                                    While he was crossing the road to the other side

                                         to get some drinks for his wife, a car came and hit him and
                                         he died on the spot.


                                The girl lost her senses. It was only after sometimes that she
                                recovered from her shock.
                                The funeral and cremation was the very next day

                                             because he had died horribly.


                        Two nights later, the girl's mother had a dream in
                        which she saw an old lady.
                        The old lady asked her mother to wash the blood
                        stains of the guy from her daughter's dress as soon as possible.


                     But her mother ignored the dream.The next night her father had the same
                    dream, he also ignored it.

                    Then when the girl had the same dream the next night, she
                    woke up in fear and told her mother about the dream.


                 Her mother asked her to wash the
                clothes which have blood stains immediately.
                she washed the stains but some remained.


            Next night she again had the same dream she again
            washed the stains but some still remained.


        Next night she again had the same dream and this time
        the old lady gave her a last warning to wash the blood stain,


    or else something terrible will happen. This time the girl tried her
     best to wash the stains,and the clothes nearly tore,
     but some stains still remained.She was very tired.


In the late evening the same day while she was alone
at home,some one knocked the door.
When she opened the door she saw the
same old lady of her dream standing at her door.


 She got very scare dand fainted.
.
.
.
.
The old lady woke her up... and gave her a blue
object, which shocked
.
.
.
the girl. She asked "What is this...?"
.
.
.
The old lady replied...
.
.
.
.
"Try Surf Exel Washing powder..... just a dab and it
will remove all

stubborn stains!!!" .



............. .......... ...I know how you all are feeling now... ............ ....

 

Read more...

Indian Democracy

Read more...