Simple Friend v/s Real Friend

simple friend, when visiting, acts like a guest.
A real friend opens your refrigerator and helps himself (and doesn't feel even the least bit weird shutting your 'beer/Pepsi drawer' with her foot!)
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A simple friend has never seen you cry.
A real friend has shoulders soggy from your tears..
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A simple friend doesn't know your parents' first names.
A real friend has their phone numbers in his address book.
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A simple friend brings a bottle of wine to your party.
A real friend comes early to help you cook and stays late to help you clean.
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A simple friend hates it when you call after they've gone to bed.
A real friend asks you why you took so long to call.
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A simple friend seeks to talk with you about your problems.
A real friend seeks to help you with your problems.
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A simple friend wonders about your romantic history.
A real friend could blackmail you with it.
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A simple friend thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.
A real friend calls you after you had a fight.
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A simple friend expects you to always be there for them.
A real friend expects to always be there for you!
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